Sep 2, 2011

The SHIT They Don't Tell You About Parenting

Photo credit: jeltovski from

Do you remember when you were pregnant with your first child and you worried about labor and wondered how you would ever survive?  Remember all the stories people, even people who didn't even know you, would share about their labor/delivery simply because you were visibily 'with child?'
I remember get a ton of unsolicited advice about everything from breast feeding to how I needed to put another layer on my baby because "he has GOT to be freezing" once I had my son(s).  What I do NOT remember is anyone giving me any long lasting, truly helpful advice.  I mean really, 'sleep when the baby sleeps' might be wise and helpful for say, oh a couple weeks, what how much damn good does that do me when it comes to real parenting?
I really don't remember anyone giving me helpful hints on how to get my kids to crap on the toilet long after they are capable but simply will themselves not to.  Or where is the warning that when your child willfully holds in his bowels for a week or more at time that there is simply NO way to get that to flush no matter how much to your prayer to the plumbing gods?  And for craps sake, if we can send people into space, why can't someone invent something to handle the craps my kids take that are larger than a watermelon?
Seriously though people.  There is a lot of SHIT in parenting that no one talks about.  And I don't know about you but it leaves me feeling pretty crappy because it leads me to think that I must have the only whacked out children who would chose to be so anal rentitive that I'm pretty sure they could use an epidural to pass that business!  So here I am being totally god awful open about one of the super glamorous issues our house.  Thankfully I have a couple good friends who are equaly open about this shitty topic and made me feel slighlty less freakish. So I'm sharing with you.  Not to gross you out but to just be real, and ugly and nasty as it is.
Parenting isn't all sunshine and roses and sometimes we get caught up in not wanting to look bad to others, so we hide our crap from the rest of the world.  But all that does is make us feel isolated and worse.
And for those of you who are feeling bad for my children for divulging such personal information in such a public's how I figure it: I have 3 boys.  They spend their entire lives blaming each other for stuff and since I haven't named names, if any of them are ever running for President some day and this comes up....they'll just blame it on one of their brothers!


  1. And the floor behind the toilet... Oy. That's a whole book in itself, too. We are constantly plunging toilets over here. It's too bad I can't write that on a resume...

  2. Ooooh - can't believe they hold it for a week! Bless your heart..... the Pediatricians now recommend Miralax pediatric for kids who aren't "regular" - you might check w/yr kids Doc & see what he says about using it! Cause seriously.... talk about being "Full of it..." & I agree with all the crap (!) that they don't tell you - I had one who was a head-banger & it scared the life out of me when she would do this... until one day my Mom-in-law saw her Grandaughter doing it, & my panic & said "she's a normal child - she'll quit when it starts hurting!" And when I didn't rush to pick her up -- SHE QUIT! Tried it a few more times & when I didn't panic & scoop her up, the behavior stopped! (Thank-God for my wonderful Mother-in-law & my FABulous Mom, too - I never would have made it thru 2 kids, growing up & Nursing school to boot w/out their advice & shoulders to cry on!)

  3. It's ok. My oldest was guilty of holding it. I took him to the doctor after he didn't go for three weeks. He put him on Miralax, and it worked. Boys are something else. After I opened up about it to other moms, a lot of them had experienced it too. All boys.

    Good luck!


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