I Can 'Run' But I Can't Hide, Thankfully

one of my friends posted this last night. its so true

Sometimes I manage to amaze myself even with the things I am able to do.  I set goals, set my mind and off I go.  But sometimes, sometimes I struggle, I flounder and begin to drown.  Yesterday was one of those days.  Mother's Day is probably the single most difficult day for me since my mom passed away.  It's partly because, well it's MOTHER'S day and yeah, I don't have a mom to call or go see.  And partly because MY Mother's Days never look anything like those damn Hallmark commercials.  I love my children, please don't mistake that, but despite their numeric age, the ADHD and constant high speed of their lil bodies and minds, their ability to make a simple breakfast in bed alone is pretty much nonexistent.  In fact, their ability to get out of bed and not kill each other for half an hour without taking their medication is pretty much nonexistent.  So yesterday morning started with them inhaling the full dozen donuts we'd bought the night before and destroying just about every inch of our house before I even got out of bed.  The sane thing to do on my part would have been to do something productive and switch the mood of the day.  Instead, I instructed them to take their medicine and pop in a movie and I went back to bed...it was after all only 8:05a. 
The day continued in complete chaos with no one doing anything I requested, including I'm pretty sure that request to take their medicine.  By noon I'd had enough, the plans for lunch with friends were canceled and I had CANCELED Mother's Day.  There were no gifts accepted, no Mother's Day wishes and no celebration.  Instead there was yelling and crying and punishments.  
I sulked, they sulked.  I made dinner...they complained about dinner. I watched a Golden Girls marathon (and thought about my mom because we always watched it together) and they complained that they couldn't watch what THEY wanted.  All the while I was ignoring my phone, calls and texts.  I tried running from the world that was celebrating Mother's Day.  But my friends, they knew.  They knew I was crumbling and they came despite my best efforts to hide from everyone.  They came and they gave my kids the kick in the pants they needed pick up the countless messes they'd made all day.  And they came and talked to them about what Mother's Day should have meant and why maybe they should have made a little extra effort.  

There is no greater gift than friends who hear you pushing them away but KNOW that you really need them close.

All this just to say that sometimes I AM strong and fierce, but that's not me everyday.  We all crack. We all need a break.  If you struggle, know you aren't alone.  Don't judge other people simply by the moments you see and think you can't do or be what you want because you aren't that strong.  I'm NOT always strong either!!