Nov 15, 2008

Nice...real nice...

So in reading another blog I follow I realized that other than to post about the party, or lack there of I really let the 6th birthday of my oldest son slide by without much celebration at all!

So just for a moment let's pretend its still actually November 9th, shall we? 

Today my first born child turned six.  I really can't believe he's six years old because I can very clearly remember six.  I remember the crush I had on an "older man" Benjamin and also missing out on recess more than once because I'd been too busy daydreaming to complete my work during class time. (ok so apparently my 'thing' for older men started early on and maybe I myself had a little adhd as a child)  Yet at the same time I can hardly recall life without him.  He was born on a chilly November morning after being induced after my 38 week checkup because my bp was through the roof.  I was instructed to go straight to the hospital even though I was there alone, with no bag or anything.  As I sat in my car I frantically attempted to get a hold of any of my family members as Tom didn't have a car on the job site he was on.  I began to cry as I visioned myself in labor...alone.  That's when the "guys" decided they'd drive Tom to the hospital.  He got to sit on 5 gallon bucket in the back of a utility van.  Of course my panic was all for naught as an emergency arrived while I was being checked in and they won't start my pitocin until right around 7pm.  Just before 8am he was born.  I was exhausted and when they asked if I wanted to hold him I said no because I was afraid that I wouldn't be able to hold him because my arms felt so weak.  But apparently it was a rhetorical question as they tossed him on my chest anyway.  I'll admit that while there was a bond instantly, the first week was a tad rough.  He was a whopping 9 pounds 6 ounces and also a little jaundice but always just shy of needing any intervention.  As we attempted to figure out the whole breastfeeding thing, we both became miserable as he was impossible to wake up despite all the 'helpful' suggestions I was given.  So by the time he woke he was starving and screaming and on a constant unhappy cycle.  One week later as I looked down the nose of our first outing, without much sleep at all, I asked for a few hours nap before we had to leave.  When I was awoken very shortly after falling asleep because he was hungry, I directed his dad to a bottle and the formula from the hospital.  He took it and loved it and that's how we left things as everyone was much happier.  After that first week I was able to get some sleep and come out of my fog , that's when I truly fell in love.  He was the most beautiful thing I'd ever seen.  And it didn't take long before I realized he was also the smartest thing ever.  Before he was nine months old he was using sign language to communicate with us regularly.  Before a year he knew all his colors and shapes.  People, including my own mom, rarely believed me and I'd have to have him prove himself.  By 18 months he could speak in sentences clear enough for strangers to understand and even had amazing manners. Well aside from the regular use of the word Damnit, which I promptly removed from my own vocabulary and then stopped hearing from him.  He was an absolute joy.  Even with the birth of his younger brother when he was just 13 months old, we couldn't have had a better toddler.  He was an amazing big brother, so loving and gentle.  The only thing that was regularly questioned about him was his 'humming' whenever he concentrated he'd hum.  It could be rather annoying but even until he was 4 he seemed totally unaware that he was doing it.  As he neared his preschool years I began to realize that he was a little more energetic than the kids his age.  But everyone suggested it was just out of boredom because he continued to be very advanced for his age.  He continued to amaze us with his questions and his desire to learn, and does to this day.  I did eventually (fairly recently) get confirmation to my suspicion that he is ADHD but despite the struggles that had brought us he is still a enormous blessing.  His wisdom and faith are far beyond his years.  My only concern for him right now is his self image.  Because of his advanced maturity in some areas he has a greater fear of embarrassment than most kids his age.  Its not so much that he's shy, just very very cautious and I worry about how that may interfere with his enormous potential.  But I will simply keep supporting him and helping his discover what he loves and hope that he will grow into his own in time.  For this week the 'thing' is a desire to become and expert on bees (his words).  So we went to the library and got several books on bees.  I now know more than I care to ever know about the pesky little things but such are the joys of motherhood. 
I will post a photo of my oh so grown up little man soon!


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