Waiting, worrying Wednesday

I know my mom hates to think that anyone is worrying about her, especially me, but today she goes to the Dr and will get the results of her latest CT and PET scans. For some time she didn't want anymore scans or for the Dr's to give her any real guesses as to a life expetancy. But recently she's had a shift in thinking and now wants to know. Along with this she's shedding some of her opposition to people, but especially her grandkids, seeing her in a less than perfect state and instead just wanting the time to see them.
Obviously, I'm happy that she's letting go a bit of having to protect everyone and getting to spend the time with her. But all along I thought I wanted to know what to expect. But I have to say I've pretty much felt like I might throw up all morning and her appointment time is still hours away. At this point I'm completely without the wisdom of what to even pray for. I don't know at all what the best possible option is anymore. So I'm just praying for God's will. Hoping that it includes the least possible pain and suffering for my mom and at least some peace for those of us that love her.
I don't know if I'll be able to post about the results immediately, it will depend on my mom's wishes. But I will update when I can, and know that I truly appreciate every single one of you who has been praying for us!!!!