Jul 7, 2009

Wouldn't change a thing

It seems like a strange thing to feel or say right now, admist all the cruddy stuff going on around me, that I wouldn't change a thing. But it's true.

A fellow blogger recently wrote about not knowing what you have until it's gone (you may have heard of her, they call her MckMama) and it's so true. I especially understand what she's talking about when it comes to the number of children you have. While she's one ahead of me (and will stay that way, thank you very much, unless she wants to gain a bigger lead), I totally relate to what a big difference one more makes. Honestly, my older two are so close together I couldn't really even tell you what having just one is like. In those short 13 months, I was either in a newborn sleep deprived state or a pregnant vomitous state or in a big as a house had to sleep in a recliner to ward off the siatic nerve pain state. It's all really a blur to me. But I DO remember finding out that #2 was coming despite what I considered THOROUGH efforts to prevent pregnancy. Obviously God had other plans. But I have to say I panicked. I wondered how in the world I would handle two babies so close together. But honestly, it was easier than I ever could have imagined. There were a couple legistical issues like getting two small children to and from the car, especially with our sloped sidewalk in the middle of an IL winter. But for the most part Timmy was the most amazingly patient one year old ever.
Having tackled a 1 year old and a newborn, who'd have thought that #3 could be very difficult. Well, there I go thinking again. My chubby little 'angel' has thrown us for a major loop. And i now look back on having two and think, man that was a breeze. When I take just the older boys somewhere it seems almost effortless incomparison to trying to take all three by myself.
But still, I wouldn't give him up for anything. Call me crazy but I don't think it was any mistake that he was conceived (inknowlingly) at almost the exact same time as my mom's third diagnosis with cancer. Everyone says they see so much of her in him. And I definitely see it in the same little twinkle of the eyes when they're about to getting into mischief. It makes me sad to consider that he may lose her too young to really remember her. But he will forever be a reminder to me of how God answered my prayers to keep her strong enough to be here to meet him. He filled her with the strength and courage to fight an amazing battle that has allowed her to see him develop into a little person. He's a silly, dancing, lovey boy who is spoiled beyond belief but loved beyond measure. His sloppy kisses are enough to make even the worst day better. And there is nothing better than to see him interacting with Timmy and Johnny.
Who'd have ever thought, I'd have three BOYS. Not me, that's for sure, but I wouldn't change it for anything.



  1. What a great post Lisa!! I could say the exact same thing about my 3 (in the girl version of course). The first 2 being 17 months apart was tough but so normal it didn't seem hard until later when I look back.

    And while it's still hard with 3 under 5, I wouldn't trade it for the world. (((HUGS)))

  2. Great post.
    Just stopping by via MBC to say hello.


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