Happy Thanksgiving

It's a day of giving thanks and I'm pushing hard to keep focused on those things and not dwell on the sadness of today for our family.  

You see yesterday marked 4 years since my Grandma passed and one moth since my mom's wake.  It seems that this week has brought on a whole onslaught of emotions that I was not prepared for.  I've kept very busy since the funeral and honestly hadn't really felt much of anything...that was until Monday.  Then the flood gates opened and I can't seem to shut them.  

I still have a peace and know that my Mom is in the best possible place.  That while I do not understand why people must suffer as she did or are taken from us much too soon, I know someday I will get those answers. And I have full faith that God uses all things for his good.

However today I mourn my lose.  The fact that she will not be with me or my family for another holiday.  That I will never again be able to pick up the phone for her advice or simply to complain to her.  That while she may always be with me, I will not be able to hug her again while her on earth.  That the only memories Bryan will ever have of his amazin' Grandmother will be those we tell him.

Shortly, we'll be venturing over to our church where my husband has been slaving since literally 2 am to help prepare a Thanksgiving meal for approx 400 people (75 Naval recruits and may people from the community).  This will be hard for me as this is where we've celebrated several Thanksgivings over the last 7 years, particularly when my mom was sick/in treatment.  She and I spent many hours several years ago making the centerpieces for the tables for the meal.  

This day is filled with thoughts and memories of her.  I will do my best to honor her memory and make her proud by making it a good day for my boys!!!