Nov 18, 2009

Say What You Need to Say?

Do you always say what's on your mind? Or do you run from confrontation at all cost?

I'll have to admit that for the most part, I avoid confrontation like the plague. I guess it comes from my insecurities and sever need to feel like everyone likes me. This of course doesn't apply to those that live in my house. I regularly make them mad. I think I'm OK with that because I know they love matter how many time they squat at the door to shout how much they "hate" me under the door. But for just about everyone else in the world, I need to at least perceive that they like me. Or at least not KNOW that they don't like me. To know that I've upset someone or that they don't like me, turns my stomach to no end.

But as I venture through the different seasons of life I'm also finding that holding in my emotions to avoid confrontation can have the same effect. I can literally be so upset I am shaking and nauseous about something and yet...still...I say nothing. That can't be good for a person. Emotionally or physically. But its also not honest. And at times it's not Christian either. As Christians were called to help hold our fellow believers accountable (not judgement but accountability, which is confusing but different and a whole other post but if you have questions I'd be happy to chat about it). I stink at accountability. Typically I can muster some truth when specifically asked my opinion on a situation but if I'm not asked I tend to smile and nod. If a friend is considering making unwise choices I do try to get him/her to look at the concerns I have but in literally the least confrontational way possible. Calling someone on the carpet" per say is truly not something I can do. It's only in the last couple years I've even had the guts to do this with companies I've done business with. But even in these situations I get shaky and nauseous and my heart races. It's ridiculous really.

So I'm wondering, if you're one of those people who have no problem calling people on their...garbage, help a girl out. Why is this sooo darn hard???


  1. I am not good at confrontation nor do I like it...but sometimes you have to just do it. Otherwise it will eat you up inside. It is then and only then that I do it...because i hate it so bad.

  2. I'm getting better at it, but I need work with this area as well. I think needing to know when to say something and when to just say something to Jesus would help..LOL

  3. I'm like you. I tend to bite my tongue and let stuff eat at me like crazy. I get the same racing heart/high BP when just thinking about things I should have said or done differently when it comes to certain people.

  4. And, btw, I added the aperture settings to the photos I did the other weekend. I struggle with one person going OOF too...I try aiming for a point in between them, if that makes sense. And I back up as needed. I had many a OOF family member from this shoot, trust me!

  5. I'm no help. It's hard for me too, and I get shaky, etc. I am the queen of "OH, I should have said...." I always think of the perfect things to say later, but in the moment, my mind goes blank.


Thanks for leaving me a comment!!