Jan 24, 2010

Touchy Topic

I don't really use this blog to get into touchy topics too much. But this week I've watched two different things on TV that really sparks my thoughts.

The first was Thursday night on Private Practice. If you haven't seen it you can visit the website here and catch up. Go now if you don't want it spoiled....

Still with me? Ok, so this show is pretty good at hitting some controversial topics. But this week the daughter of two of the main characters, who is sixteen and pregnant, agrees to get an abortion at the urging of her parents. She goes in to have the procedure and ends up not doing it. When the mother hears this she grabs her and drags her down the hall to where a mother is in excruciating labor pains and tells her to 'just look at that.' And at that moment the baby is born and put on moms chest and she tells her mom to 'just look at THAT.'

Then Saturday night I watched the Pregnancy Pact. A made for TV movie about a small town where several girls agree to get pregnant together. Obviously this story is a little out of the norm because it invovled a flurry of media coverage. But it also covered lightly, on abortion, adoption and abstinence vs contraception in school. For more on the movie, go here.

If you saw either of these things, I'd love to hear your thoughts, reactions etc. I am holding my thoughts until tomorrow!



  1. I didn't see either of those, but I am reminded of a "Party of Five" episode (remember that show?) where the Neve Campbell character becomes a pregnant teenager. She fights with the idea of adoption or abortion. Right as she is leaving to get the abortion, she has a miscarriage, so you were left wondering if she would have actually gone through with it.

  2. I did not watch these but it makes me very sad that a mother would convince her daughter to have an abortion..even if it was in a tv show..

  3. I don't really watch tv because we have no cable but what you described reminds of why I really don't miss it much.

    But I really don't agree with either much. That mom, wow. That's your grandchild even if your daughter made a mistake. And the pregnancy pact, well I know that was real and the only good thing I could think coming of the tv show about is maybe, just maybe some girls will think of reality instead of the "glamore" of getting pregnant.

  4. Never seen either of those but I have to agree with RaD here.

    I will prefice this that I am prolife so that pretty much tells you where I stand on abortion.

    As far as the pregnancy pact show, I can't believe they actually made a show like that. It is sad & pathetic. Unfortunately I think there will be girls who watch that & think it is cool & glamorous!

    Great topic, Lisa!

  5. The Pregnancy Pact is inspired by a true story already. I remember the whole news coverage back then. It was big news for awhile.

    I can't comment on the other and I choose not to even go watch it.

    As a mom at 16, again at 18, and again at 21 who chose to keep my children and I am successful I don't believe The Pregnancy Pact gives much HOPE to moms who have children young. It does happen, it isn't easy, BUT it can be done. I've got my high school diploma (graduating on time even), I've got my CNA, I've got an Associates Degree, and I'm going back for a Bach Degree. It isn't an impossible feat.

    However, I agree in programs that make teenagers more aware of what life is like with a baby.

  6. I watched Private Practice and it made me thankful, for just a moment, that I don't have any daughters. I personally don't believe in abortion but this was crazy. I couldn't believe that Naomi was so angry that she wouldn't even talk to her daughter and was willing to throw her beliefs out the window.

    I wanted to watch the other movie but I forgot what time it was and I missed it. So, you will have to let me know if it was any good.

  7. I watched both of those.

    Private Practice disturbed me- I can't imagine trying to force my child to have an abortion. Then again, I don't have girls.

    The Pregnancy Pact- I really do think that some girls think that way- that it would be FUN to have a baby. Scary.

    Both of these shows made me thankful that I just have boys. I know that's not a realistic way to think. Obviously, the girl didn't get pregnant by herself. But, it's different for the girl, harder for her to deal with, than it would be for the boy involved.

  8. Didn't see Private Practice but that breaks my heart that the parents were forcing her to do that. That is a very very bid decision that no one should ever be forced into and that could ruin your relationship with your child for life by making her do that.

    I did watch the pregnancy pact. I know that teen pregnancy happens, it's a fact of life and I highly doubt that it will ever go away. BUT it's totally different to make a pact to get pregnant. That just boggles my mind, at 15 I very very much wanted to be a mom one day but I never thought that I could do it right then. And I wonder how closely that movie followed the real story because the real story involved many more than just 4 girls in a pact it was in the teens or something. But I have to say that the movie kinda made me mad because these boys never tried to use anything to prevent the girls from being pregnant. It's not like the girls said they were using birth control they all just had sex without thinking, without any protection and then the guys are all shocked that they are pregnant. Well Duh, that's how you get pregnant. I know that the girls had sex with the intention of getting pregnant and that's NUTS to think about but even without those intentions it's still not the wisest idea to have unprotected sex then be shocked when the girl gets pregnant. And don't get me started on those kids drinking and smoking while pregnant!!! I think the movie left a lot to be desired.

    Okay that was my rant on the subject. :)

  9. I didn't watch either one, but I can say from personal experience, that sometimes it seems parents get so caught up in their OWN grief for THEIR dreams that they have for their children that they freak out and would do just about anything to save those dreams for their children, no matter how crazy it is at the time or how much it would go against their beliefs and values. Their feeling of helplesness can lead parents (of both the daughter and the son, even when the son is a 24 year old college graduate) to do and say crazy things.
    That's no excuse, but I think that's where parents can be driven to be so "heartless" toward their child and future grandchild. They don't see it that way, they just see hardships for their child trying to graduate high school, trying to go to college, work, for the girl's parents they see that their daughter will likely have little support from the father since society tends to leave the girl with the work and guys regularly get to skip out, and the parents see their responsibility in the baby's life if their children don't step up to the plate and do what they are supposed to do and be responsible etc. etc.
    I don't have much to say about the pregnancy pact movie, though.

  10. I just watched PP last night. While I find Nay's actions terrible - I think I can see what they're trying to do. Her world was rocked. Her 15 year old daughter is pregnant and all she can see if that the life she dreamed for her daughter to have is now nothing but a memory. Her daughter is facing some hard choices and hard years. Her life will never be the same. I think Nay is just trying, wrongly, to cling to some fantasy she has in her head of what her daughter's life should/could be like. I don't think she really wanted her daughter to get an abortion - I think she just wanted things to go back to the way they were before. I don't think any of us can predict how we'd react in any given situation. We all have our preconceived notions and thoughts and ideas - "Oh I'd NEVER do.say that!" but you really have no idea until you are IN a situation, what will transpire.

    I'm really glad she DIDN'T get the abortion, because it would have been horrible but I think the goal of the show was to take us someplace we don't often go, yk?

    Then again, maybe I put too much thought into night time soap operas, eh? LOL

  11. I didn't see these, but I am 100% pro life. (well- I actually saw a case where an 11 year old girl was raped and got pregnant. I think in a case like THAT, I would have my daughter abort. It's life threatening, and rape would be enough physical and emotional trauma- much less a pregnancy that wasn't her fault...so maybe I'm 99% pro life.)

    I don't believe in abortion, at all. I also don't believe that having teens watch a baby be born is good birth control. Seriously- if it were, then no one would have children. At least no one would have more than 1. And I'm working on my 4th. It doesn't deterr us, why would it deterr them?

    I think, if my daughter were inthat situation, I would most likely favor the adoption route. That way, my daughter, the boy involved, and the baby (not to mention people who would be great parents but otherwise can't) can all have mostly normal happy and healthy lives.

    I think I'd probably push this a little. But if she absolutely wanted to keep it, I would help her, but I would make her responsible for that decision.

  12. I didn't see either, so I will refrain from commenting on that. Just wanted to stop in and tell you thanks for dropping by on Friday and I am following you back! :) ~Lanie

  13. I watched the pregnancy pact and I am glad you brought it up as a blog topic--it was interesting to read people's reactions and I can't wait to hear your's! :) I thought the movie was good--and by good I think a good screenplay--not good circumstances. I think that whole thing was terrible but I do have to say that at 15, 16, 17, I TERRIBLY wanted a baby, and still do. Now that I waited, I'm glad I did because college and work would be wayyyy too tough with a baby;; I commend those out there doing it right now. HOwever, the whole 'pact' thing was crazy. I also wondered how much the movie followed the true story... the movie said there were 18 pregnancies and I didn't think there were quite THAT many in real life. I also wondered why they would throw in that whole scene of the drinking and the numerous scenes of the girls smoking while pregnant... I dont understand that at all. It also could've showed a little more of the hardships the girls had to endure by having babies so young. Those are just my thoughts! :) *Megan*

  14. I was pregnant at 17, and while I think that I obviously should've waited, I NEVER would've gotten an abortion, no way, no how. I didn't watch the show you are talking about but I did hear about the pact. Not smart at all. I can only hope that my explanation to my kids about the importance of waiting and the consequences of not will sink in with them.

  15. I did not watch Private Practice and I saw bits of The Pregnancy Pact because I was babysitting my grand daughter. My grand daughter was not a planned pregnancy. My daughter mad tough decisions based on her firm belief that abortion is wrong. She has not had an easy time, but we have all supported her decision and wouldn't send this baby back if we could.

  16. I watched both the episode and movie.

    I have to say that I do somewhat commend ABC for putting both sides into the abortion problem in Private Practice. Naomi is typically against abortion but the show demonstrated how things can change opinions. It also showed someone like Addison (as well as Violet) that had had abortions in the past and their take while Naomi does not feel the same way. I think they played it out well with Maya being able to choose in the end. I am glad that she was able to choose what she did with her body. I know they cant please everyone but I am sure if she had chosen to get the abortion there would have been problems with that.

    The Pregnancy Pact was so sad to me. I vividly recall the part where Sarah says to her boyfriend Jesse (probably not verbatim)"I cant wait until i am 16 so we can get married". It was so scary to me that she was sixteen years old, pregnant by choice and wanting to get married. I was surprised by the drinking and smoking while pregnant. I felt that if they wanted to get pregnant so badly that they would take better care of themselves/know the consequences of doing those things. I was surprised by the differences in opinion about giving contraception at school. For me, even sexual education could be a form of contraception.

    just my random thoughts.

  17. I watched both of these shows. I was disgusted by Naomi's reaction, first, because she stormed out like a child instead of talking to her daughter, and secondly, because she thought forcing her daughter to have an abortion would 'fix' the problem. I'm glad she didn't go through with it.

    I was also turned off by the Pregnancy Pact for several reasons. First of all, show me one single high school in America where 18 teenage girls get along well enough to decide to all get pregnant together! I think that was a little far-fetched. Of course, I was also so VERY thankful that the Lord blessed me with boys instead of girls as I was watching this! Also, I disagreed with the agenda to pass out condoms at school. I know lots of people who will take issue with that, but I do my job as a parent, and I don't want the school involved in that aspect of my childrens' lives whatsoever.

  18. I watched both shows and I teach in a hs where everyday girls show up pregnant. I feel Maya made a hard decision. I also find it interesting that no one mentions some of the shows other discretions (like the sleeping with anything). I think that Naomi was wrong in focing the abortion issue, but that in the end Addison did the right thing by giving Maya a choice.
    To the PP movie. I used this as a topic in my Child Development class. I have had a feeling that I need to ask the students some questions anyway so it was a good jumping off point. They all said it was stupid and that it was far fetched, even though it is true and has happened near our school in a different county (Mama J it was based on a true story). I was also disturbed by the way they were drinking and partying while preggers! YIKES Mixed messages just shows why what education we are providing is not working for these girls! I think the most moving part was at the very end when the boyfriend moved on, the kids in my class thought so too.

  19. OK, I will be the other side. It seems no pro-choicers are speaking up. I was with my boyfriend all of 2 months when I got pregnant. We hadn't really had much time to get to know each other, to gauge what we would be like as parents. I convinced myself to have an abortion, not to give up my dreams. I had an appointment on a Monday morning. He didn't know.

    I couldn't go through with it and that choice is now a beautiful 6 year old boy and that boyfriend is now my husband. I CHOSE life. I am still happy to have the right to CHOOSE though. I think everyone should decide for themselves, even 15 year old girls. If my daughter comes home pregnant, I hope I will be rational. I hope that I would be able to sit down with her and weigh her options. I hope that even if she is pregnant, that enough of what I've taught her will still be there and she can make a decision for herself. If she felt she was mature enough to have sex, then I feel she is mature enough to make a choice.

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