Nov 17, 2010

Mama's Don't Let Your Babies Grow Up To Be... thought I was gonna say cowboys, right?  Well, if you have boys, I'm MUCH more concerned about them growing up to be pigs!!  And I'm not talking about the, leave the toilet seat up, pizza boxes under the couch kind of pig either.

I'm putting a call out to mother of boys to start holding our future men accountable for their behavior toward women.  There is a generation of young men today that have somehow lost all respect for women, and we need to put an end to it.  If you aren't sure what I mean, take a moment to take a look at this post from BarnMaven to see how early this inappropriate behavior is starting (click here) or this one from Karen Sugarpants to see how far it can go and how, sadly, girls have apparently learned to just accept it. (click here for post, please note language is NOT family friendly).

So where exactly have things gone so wrong?  How has our culture allowed men to return to a time when women were nothing more than mere objects?  And what do we do to correct it?

I'm honestly not sure I have any sort of answer as to what to do with this generation that has already reached puberty believing that it ok to treat young ladies in such a vile way.  But I know what I'm doing in MY home! As the mother of 3 boys, the rule from day one has been, you do NOT hit girls.  Clearly, this isn't totally related to the problem the posts I referenced address.  But I believe, it sets girls/women apart in their minds from day one, as something special and something sacred.  It's a lesson that can be taught before we're comfortable going into much detail about how boys and girls are physically different or why are private parts are private.  But these are conversations that will be had whether you're ready for them or not.  In fact, we were forced to have further discussion about appropriate behavior around girls one sunny afternoon when I looked up from making dinner to spy my son peeing in the yard...right in front of a little girl who was over playing.  We had talked enough about it for my son to have known this was not appropriate, but spoke in more detail AND made our son apologize to not only the little girl but also her father for his behavior. 

I'm raising my boys to be door holding gentlemen, despite our societies loss of courtesies like this.  But most importantly, I am already working hard to instill the value of women in my boys.  Teaching them that woman are not only about beauty but should be respected for their talents and abilities as well.  We speak regularly about the girls in their class that are smart and how great that is.  And this spring we attended a WNBA game, which proved to my sports loving boy that 'girls can play." 

I hear the saying "boys will be boys" all too often, and while I have learned that there is a lot more to the born gender differences than I ever believed before, that doesn't mean we, as parents need to sit back and let them reach their full chauvinist potential without even TRYING to teach them better.  I don't know about you but I certainly don't want to raise another SMD guy!!


  1. As a mom of 3 sons and 2 stepsons I agree with you. My boys are all grown up and I am so happy that all my hard work paid off! They are wonderful husbands, boyfriends and most importantly friends to the women in their lives. Children do learn what they live and as a parent we must always be aware of that.

    I am all a twitter about life

  2. I couldn't have said it better myself. Respect for others seems to be lost in this day and age. My boys aren't angels by any means, but they hold the door open for people (regardless of age or gender) and always say please and thank you. People are amazed that 11 and 12 year old boys will do this and it makes me proud.

  3. i saw a link to this blog through another and i have to say how happy it makes me to read this! i have an almost 5 year old girl and another girl on the way and already find myself having to talk to her about why women on billboards are always naked or draped on a man. i find it very disheartening that i have to work so hard to give her a normal unsexualized childhood. im so glad mothers of boys are taking on this issue too, it give me hope that our kids may have a chance of having a happy life and learn how to love properly.

  4. My husband is not a pig and neither are my children....good role models beget good role models. Marrying smartly is the first step in raising healthy, happy, and respectable boys :)

  5. Oh, and future women need to be raised to be independent, loving, and works best when both sides are ready for a partnership.


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