Jun 26, 2012

Strength


I can't say enough how much I appreciate all the amazing comments on my recent post, I'm NOT an Inspiration.  Many have mentioned that they cried reading it and I want you all to know, I cried writing it.  That was the point.  I don't want people to look at anything I ever do and shrug it off as something I am able to do because I have some super strength.

We are all stronger than we know.  Some of us can go a very long time without realizing just how strong we are.  Many of us don't give ourselves credit for the strength we display every single day.  And often, we don't really notice how strong we are until we are forced to carry some large burden. 

When I was in the middle of my mom's illness and passing, I truly was feeling like I barely made it through each day. I gave myself very little credit because in many areas of my life I did the very bare minimum at that time.  No, two years later, I can look back and view that time knowing that I DID let a lot of things slide but I can be proud of what I did do.

I'm hoping to come out of the other side of my current burden feeling the same way.  The last two weekends have both brought very different but very real obstacles for me in what looks like it will be a long journey to becoming a single mom.  I have reacted to these situations by less than maturely using Facebook and basically by running away.  I've hid in the company of friends instead of facing the issues head on.  I'm not particularly proud of my coping mechanisms but they keep me sane.  And I HOPE that when all is said and done I can look back and think, it may not have been pretty but I MADE it through!!

These past few weeks have made me miss my mom even more as she was a single mom for years, as well as my best friend. If she were here, she would have been where I ran to hide!  But thankfully, I have the most amazing friends.  I'm certain I couldn't endure this without all of their love and support.  It have been overwhelming already!!  I hope you all know how much I love and appreciate you!!!!!!!!

4 comments:

  1. I can only imagine that there are no "easy" divorces. There are too many layers to a marriage and family to easily dissect them. Give yourself a break. You've acknowledged what you want to change, so don't beat yourself up over it. Just give yourself the grace that you would extend to any of us, if we were the ones struggling through it. Be your own best friend, Lisa. Be kind to yourself. Love and hugs.

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  2. I am so sorry that you are doing through all of this. You need to cut yourself some slack, because I know that you are a great woman, a fabulous friend, and an amazing mother to your boys! I can only imagine how I would react in your situation- I'd probably have to delete my Facebook account to keep from over-sharing. I think you are doing alright- you have to vent to keep sane and that is totally understandable. Love you!

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  3. Lisa I can never imagine what it must be like not to have your mom around to talk to and comfort you in this difficult time your going through. I just am so glad to hear that you have close friends that comfort you and you are able to talk to that make you feel better. hugs

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  4. Oh Lisa, I'm sending hugs your way. I don't think venting on FB is such a bad thing though. It's just another way your friends can support you since a lot of us don't live close to you. (Though I'd drive to Zion in a heart beat if you needed anything!)

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