Overwhelmed

It feels a little ironic that almost a week later I'm struggling to put into words an experience that revolved largely around my writing.  Last Sunday I took the stage with 16 (mostly) new friends as a result of my declaration to make 2013 the year of stepping outside my comfort zone.  I can tell you it was worth it.  If I got nothing more than the friendship of these beautiful, talent and kind woman out of that, that would have been more than enough.

Listen To Your Mother, Chicago 2013 cast

But on Sunday, I awoke early and got all gussied up and took the train with two fabulous friends to meet the rest of the cast and walk through our show for the first time on stage.  That's the part I was planning...stepping out of my comfort zone that usually looks like this....

And walking on to a stage...alone...to read my own words in front of hundreds of people.  It looked kind of like this....

But then, as if that weren't enough to make me wake up and need to vomit that morning.  (No really I did.  Just once thankfully, at home.)  No, taking that leap was to be just a piece of this day, you see we knew that LTYM creator Ann Imig would be in the audience (which in of it's self is a little like babysitting someone's baby while they watch you) but she was also being interviewed for a piece on NBC Nightly News.  And apparently they asked our lovely co-producers something like, who's the most likely to pee their pants on stage out of fear (ok, that's not really what they asked but that's pretty much what they meant.) And OF COURSE they thought of ME!

That's Tracey, giving me a hug after telling me they'd thrown me under the bus suggested me for an on camera interview, hoping I'd still love her.  They did a LOT of footage so who knows if I will end up actually in the piece but it is currently slated to air tonight at 5:30c assuming there are no heinous crimes today deeming late breaking coverage.  But I'll share the piece whenever it airs whether I am in it or left happily on the cutting room floor.

But honestly, I'm at a loss for words when it comes to describing this experience.  I don't know how to explain what it feels like to bare your soul on stage.  To share such a personal story in front of hundreds of people you don't know who have no idea what you're able to share with them.  Many of the other pieces were hysterical. Those ladies go immediate feedback with laughs at the perfect moments.  I got stony silence.  But then, after the show...I got hugs and thank yous and appreciation from complete strangers for sharing my story.  People who've never met me, took the time to find me to share how brave they thought I was.  Friends of cast mates asked for information about me, wanting to know how my stories ends.  And strangers hobbled on crutches to tell me their own story because they felt connected to me because of mine.  There are really no words to describe the way that feels.  I am humbled, I am honored and I am overwhelmed.

Thank you so much to Tracey and Melisa for all your hard work to make this show possible, for picking my piece and having faith that no matter how scared I was, that I could do it.  Thank you to the rest of the cast, you all hold a very special place in my heart now, forever!  Thank you to all those who came out to see me.  And thank you to those who took the time to send thoughts of love and encouragement in the days leading up to the show.

Photos courtesy of Sabrina Persico