Mixed Emotions

Why is it that sometimes even when we get what we want, we're still not happy about it!?!?!

I have known several other moms that have gone through this same experience, so I know I'm not alone and that its not simply some postpartum hormonal thing. But today I took Johnny (turned 4 in December) to our school districts Speech Therapist for an evaluation. I actually took him last year as well but then they said he was doing fine for his age. But nothing has has really changed since then so when we went to his pediatrician for his 4 year check up, the Dr again suggested an evaluation. So anyway, today was his appointment. We arrived just as all the preschool students arrived and filled the hallway where we were waiting for the therapist. So when she came down to meet us, Johnny really wouldn't talk to her. I don't if he was overwhelmed or still nervous that I had been lying to him and that he might actually be getting more shots at this "appointment." But I started to worry that he may not cooperate for this evaluation. But once we got into her room where it was quiet. He pretty quickly opened up. They went through a book of photos of a puppy with many different items and she asked what the items were or what the puppy was doing. It took about 15 minutes and he stayed focused and answered all her questions very well. And just as I suspected, he does now qualify for speech therapy. Just wanted I wanted, right? So why am I so bummed about it??
I don't know but I do know he needs it and she was very sure that he would progress very quickly once we get started. He will go 2 times a week for a half an hour. But because we have to take him there and its only during school hours, it will wait until the fall. There are less than two months left of school and I just don't see how I can fit getting him there into my schedule and still spend anytime at work. Hopefully by the fall we'll have 2 working vehicles and it won't be an issue at all. In the mean time she is going to get some information together for us to be working on at home until the fall.