Jan 21, 2009

What do you call them?

Ok first let me acknowledge that if you read this blog fairly regularly, I realize you are probably going to get a vision of me as somewhat of a social misfit.  While I have been known to completely relate to Hermie and the toys from the Land of misfit toys, for the most part I'm really not that socially inept.  I just like to totally over analyze everything and this blog is simply where I have grown to enjoy doing my overly analyzing "out loud."

So here's my major, you know life altering dilemma of the day...
I'm wondering if I'm the only one who at 30 something is still struggling with what to call my old teachers and other adults from childhood.  Last week we went to my son's school for Family night.  One of the organizers of the event was actually my teacher when I went there some 20 years ago.  She was one of my favorite teachers too.  So when I approached her I called her by Ms ___.  It happened with out little thought and I believe its totally appropriate to call teachers by their last name when their students are around.  But I've also recently found an old teacher on facebook. He was the drama teacher and as evidenced by his long list of former students on his friends list, he was a favorite to many.  But today I wanted to drop him a message and had to pause to consider...how to open my note?  Mr ___? His first name? Or simply avoid the issue and my uncomfortableness with calling him by his first name despite the fact that I'm grown with kids of my own, by not using a name at all?  Like I said, I know I spend entirely too much time worrying over silliness.  But I'm wondering, what do you do?  Are you still calling your old teachers by their last name?


  1. Good question...I haven't run into any of them. So I don't know what i would do.

  2. I think I would continue to address former teachers formally until they ask you to use their first name. I think it's weird when students address me by my first name, not because I think it is disrespectful (I really don't), it just takes me by surprise.
    I fret over this kind of stuff, too. :)

  3. I still use Mr. and Ms. when addressing adults that I grew up around (and I"m 40!). I was taught that it was a show of respect and even when they tell me to call them by their first names I generally can't make the switch and still address them formally.

    btw.. I also address all of my kids teachers as Mr. and Ms. even though they're younger than I am.

  4. It sounds like you would feel more comfortable calling him by his last name.

    Even though you are grown, your former teacher is still older and your relationship with him is that of teacher/student. If your relationship changes to a closer friendship, then it would be different. It's also possible your former teacher may prefer you to call him by his first name—but he will say so.

    Think of it this way: you won't offend him by calling him Mr. Last Name, but you could make him feel uncomfortable by presuming familiarity and calling him by his first.

  5. lol im glad other people fret about these things too, cuz i know i do! Im only 21 and i've run in to the same problem...tricky tricky i tell ya! *Megan*

  6. I'd be like! "Hey! What's up?" I wouldn't call them anything! LOL Well, if I had to address them, I would probably adddress with the Mr. and Mrs. If they want you to call them by their first name, they will say "Oh just Call me ____." Just to be safe! :0)


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