Sponsored: Focusing On What Matters #BBYSpringForward

©Michelle Pendergrassof Visual Prayer

In honor of Women's History Month, Best Buy is asking what steps are you taking to make advances/leaps forward in your life (professional and/or personal)?

At the beginning of the year I decided not to make resolutions, but to make some goals for the year.  I am please with the progress I've made on some of these goals, no doubt. However, I'm not very impressed with how I am doing in one area.  Sadly, this was my #1 goal...to be a better mom.  The truth is, after almost three months, not much at all has changed.  Mornings are chaos, bedtimes is frustrating and I simply haven't focused enough on enjoying the the in between times.
I'm thinking that part of my problem is that I haven't given myself any clearly defined ways to reach my goal.  My goal is vague and immeasurable.  For goals like improving your health, you know you have to figure out the steps you want to take.  You need to eat better, you need to move more, maybe you need to make changes in your house like our recent addition of a Sharp Air Purifier (courtesy of Best Buy).

So, I need to define some steps that I think will help me reach my goal of being a better, more patient mother.  

• The first, which I know sounds sort of counter productive but I really believe it is important, is to be more willing to ask for and accept help.  A huge part of my problem is my own stress level.  When I feel like I've done nothing but run all week, and they seem unappreciative, I lose my cool.  But it would help if I didn't always insist on doing it all myself.  I have amazing friends who are more than willing to help, if I just let them.
• Second, I want to take time with each of the boys every week. Even if its only an hour a week and even if we don't leave the house, but just to do something where I only focus on them for awhile.
• I also need to continue to improve our organization and routines. I HAVE made some good strides on getting better places for things but with limited space and too much stuff it's an ongoing battle.  Our routines are fairly consistent but we still struggle, so I know there is some improvement to be made there.
• I need to continue to learn about ADHD, and ways to help us all cope with what ADHD means to our family.  For me the constant noise and movement that comes from having multiple boys with ADHD is a HUGE stressor for me. I grew up in a very quiet house so the chaos is often overwhelming to me.  I need to find ways for the boys to move and make noise that doesn't feel like such a sensory assault.
• And lastly, to help me regularly focus on the amazing joy and blessing that being the mother of MY boys is, I want to reflect on that more often. One way I plan to do that is by joining a group of fellow bloggers who are already writing "Letters to Our Sons" once a month.

I know there are MANY other things I could work on but this is where I will start. But I'd love to hear what you do to make yourself a better parent!

Join the conversation and share what steps YOU are taking to make advances/leaps forward in your life (professional and/or personal) on Twitter using hashtag #BBYSpringForward!

Get 20% off Air Purification products in store only through 4/15/13 with this coupon!

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I have been compensated for this post, however all opinions expressed are my own.
 


 

Bring It! Listen To Your Mother Chicago

This weekend was our first rehearsal for Listen To Your Mother Chicago.  As I got ready to go I was equal parts nervous and excited.  I was nervous about my reading, praying that the readings I had done on my own would help me slow down even through the nerves.  But also so excited to meet the other ladies of the cast who I'd been chatting with regularly on FB for a weeks and to hear their pieces as we'd be sworn to secrecy about our pieces so we could all experience them, just as the audiance will on May 5th.

As I sat in my 'assigned' spot in show order, I was smack dab in the middle and while thankful to not being first, was worried about being able to concentrate on the other pieces without obsessing about my own reading.  But each piece pulled me in quickly and had me laughing or crying (or laughing UNTIL I cried).  The only real worry I had was if I would be able to catch my breath after the emotional readings in order to do my own.

I did.  And while I still need some practice, and maybe some advice on what to do with my hands/arms while I'm reading, I read mostly spot on to what I practiced.  I feel so much more confident even just from the audition reading.  I am now convinced that not only can I take that stage and bare my soul for 900+ people, but I can do it WELL.  If that sounds cocky, I'm sorry but I'm tired of feeling the need to downplay my abilities to myself and to others.  The cast is filled with amazing pieces and fabulous writers, it would be beyond easy to feel unworthy of sharing the stage with more experienced performers and published authors but I am owning this experience!  And the fact that these ladies are all amazing people, I now have the pleasure of calling friends, makes it so much easier.  After our rehearsal we had the chance to spend some time together getting to know each other and regardless of age, lifestyle etc we bonded over this experience we are all sharing.  I am so excited to move forward with these ladies for another rehearsal and a show that I know will be here before we know it.  We are truly giving Motherhood a Microphone from every aspect of motherhood.  

If you haven't bought your tickets yet, grab the special women in your life and come out and be reminded that motherhood isn't all sunshine and roses, but we wouldn't want it any other way.


Thank you to the lovely ladies of the 2013 Cast of Listen To Your Mother Chicago for your amazing support of my piece.  You all touched me and are a huge part of what started as a terrifying journey for that has transformed into something more amazing that I had ever expected!
Shannon Duffy            Robin Frisch         Jocelyn Geboy   Tracy Jensen       RoiAnn Phillips       Sheila Quirke     Elizabeth Rago       Liz Joynt Sandberg     Samantha Schultz      Erin Skibinski      Marianne Walsh     Nadine Warner     Shannan Younger      Sarah Zematis     Tracey Becker       Melisa Wells      Thank you also to the local businesses who have stepped up to support the Chicago show.  Without you, my experience would not be possible! KeyLime Cove Indoor Waterpark Resort        Artizone Chicago      Chalet Nursery & Garden Center      Building Blocks Toy Stores      Rosen Motors      Neighborhood Parents' Network      Bella Luna Cafe      Dom Itp

Get your tickets here!!

Listen Up!

So at the beginning of this year I decided not to do New Years Resolutions.  I didn't want to proclaim to do something that I'd have forgotten about by January 31st.  So instead I put my GOALS for 2013 in writing.  This list of things include many things I've not done well at...yet. But the very last one... do one thing that scares me...that one I'm pretty damn proud to say I am freaking rocking.  And its terrifying, but in the best way humanly possible.  Because no truer words were written then when I concluded about that goal that "to fully feel alive I must continue to push myself."

In case you haven't been paying attention, the first thing I did that scared me was to simply submit my piece, a very personal, emotional piece for consideration to the fabulous producers of Listen To Your Mother Chicago.   I have never written a piece like this one. The style was totally not my norm.  It left me feeling raw and totally vulnerable, and scared.  But I trusted and love the ladies of LTYM Chicago enough to hand over this chunk of my soul.  And in return they invited me to audition.  That meant reading this piece...out loud...in front of them.  Scared...shitless!  But I did it!  And much to Melisa and Tracey's appreciation I did it without vomiting on either of them.  Then I was left to wait.  To consider...was I truly reading to stand before 950 seats (all which will be filled, no doubt because Melisa and Tracey rock at their job) and pour out my heartbreaking story?  Scared! Beyond explanation.

Afraid of rejection...afraid of acceptance.  Afraid of the unknown. But knowing, that whatever happened was meant to be.  But apparently someone (and not just my totally intimidating friend Rita) believed I was ready...my story was ready...and needed to be heard.  Once again, I am filled with fear, but the healthy 'holy crap, I'm going to do this' best kind of fear, I'm happy to share that I will take the stage along with a fabulous cast of writers at 2pm on May 5th at The Athenaeum Theatre in Chicago.  I am full of fear, and I wouldn't trade it for anything!!!

Doing One Thing That Scares Me

Last week I put six goals for 2013 into writing to keep myself on track.  I'm happy to say that I've already taken the first step toward goal #6: Do One Thing That Scares Me.

In all my life, I've always been terrified of public speaking. As I've gotten older and had more varied experiences speaking in front of crowds I've found that I do much better speaking if I'm sharing someone else's writing.  But sharing my own writing is still in the make me want to vomit category.

But last year I sat in a theater and listened to many of my friends reading wonderful pieces on motherhood.  I saw the nerves, the joy and the community of the participates of Listen To Your Mother.  And I knew I wanted to audition a piece for 2013.  

I thought I knew the topic I wanted to create an audition piece for but the words never flowed to me.  But when the fabulous ladies of Listen To Your Mother: Chicago confirmed they'd be co-producing again in 2013, a different piece filled my thoughts from no where.  I wrote it all in one short airplane trip.  I did some mild editing on it and then sort of forgot about it until December when the official call for submissions for consideration came out.  I went back to the piece and it terrified me.  It's something I have written about here, it's something I talk about openly regularly but the idea of sharing such a raw piece myself in front of a room full of people...terrified.

As the reminders for the submission deadline came across my Facebook feed again and again I attempted to write a different piece. But it just wouldn't come.  So I asked an author friend (Author of Saving Grace) who's style I really love, if she had time to look at my piece yet before the deadline...now just a week away.  She kindly agreed.  Tonight I got back her feedback and before I could second guess myself, I took the courage her amazingly kind words about the piece gave me and I did it. I submitted a piece for consideration for Listen To Your Mother, Chicago.  Whether I'm reading or just listening, I WILL be at the show again this year.  But fingers cross I'll be able to take care of one of my goals while I'm there.  And hopefully without passing out or throwing up!

What will YOU do this year that scares you?

Goals for 2013

I've decided that I'm not doing resolutions.  They are looked at too casually as something to be declared and then given up by January 31st.  So instead I'm making a few GOALS for 2013. And then I hope to follow up in the next week or so with some plans to effectively reach those goals.

My Goals for 2013:

1. become a better mom.  Yes, I have fabulous friends who will tell me what a great mom I am.  I run myself ragged to get my kids to activities and I absolutely enjoy watching them take part in their activities.  But the truth is, in the day to day life, from the getting ready in the morning to  the getting to bed and literally all the moments in between some days, I suck at being a mom to three loud and active boys.  I don't have the patience or kindness I need to be a good mom anymore. I need to find that again and I need to do it NOW! This is absolutely my #1 priority for 2013.
2. rediscover my faith.  I know, some will say this should be #1 and the other will come, but it's my list, so I decide.  Things have been complicated with our church family and we haven't had a church home in awhile.  I need to find us one, even if it's just the boys and I for now.  I know I can't do this the right way without one.
3. continue my journey for better health. I did great the first half of 2012 but then life got messy and so did I.  I've gained way too much weight back.  But I'm going to focus on what I've learned, what I've proved to myself I am capable of and I'm going to get back on the horse!
4. be a better friend.  I have a lot of really great friends.  Social media, such as Facebook, allows me to connect with, share with and be inspired by so many fabulous people from all over the country and world.  But I'm not the best at staying connected one on one with people.  Despite knowing so many amazing people I never feel like I have someone to turn to at any time, day or night type of friend and I know this is all on me, these are my issues, and something I need to make an effort to work on.  I'm tired of feeling like I have no where to turn so often because I just feel like I'm bothering someone.
5. become a more intentional/organized blogger.  I have had a year full of amazing opportunities this year but somehow within that my traffic has actually dropped pretty badly over 2011.  This year I will be more focused and intentional with my objectives and direction.
6. do one thing that scares me!  Again I did well getting outside of my comfort zone for the first half of 2012 but then I got off track.  But I know that to fully feel alive I must continue to push myself.

Do you have personal goals for this year?  I would love to hear some of them.